HOW TO CONGRATULATE A REPRESENTATIVE OF THE MIDDLE KINGDOM

N. A. VOSTRYAKOVA

Candidate of Philological Sciences

(Volgograd State Technical University)

Cross-cultural communication Keywords:, communicative situation greetings, communicative Chinese traditions, birthday, gift

Since ancient times, it has been a tradition in China to celebrate a common birthday - the seventh day of the Chinese New Year. This holiday was associated with the appearance of the human race on Earth and was considered the Day of Man¹. However, in modern conditions, this tradition is becoming a thing of the past: the holiday is not celebrated as widely as before, and many residents of the country simply do not know about it.

Today, birthday in the minds of the Chinese, as well as many other peoples of the world, is perceived primarily as a personal, personal holiday of a particular person. And if your colleague or friend from China invited you to his birthday, you need to prepare for this event, taking into account the subtleties of its national traditions.

What should a Russian guest take into account in this communicative situation? We tried to find the answer to this question based on the available comparative studies of Russian and foreign scientists, as well as the results of a survey conducted by us among Chinese students of the Faculty of Training foreign Specialists of Volgograd State Technical University (24 informants were interviewed).

CHOOSING THE PERFECT GIFT

What should I give you as a gift? This is the main question that is usually solved by every person invited to a birthday party. Despite the fact that Chinese etiquette allows the guest to not have a present, it is still desirable for a foreigner to bring it.

If the invitation was received unexpectedly or due to some other circumstances, the desired gift was not found, the guest can hand over the money by first putting it in a red envelope (in white-they give it only at funerals)². Don't worry: the envelope will be accepted with gratitude. Moreover, money in China is often given not only to adults, but also to children. If the holiday was known in advance, then it is better to buy a gift, thereby showing the birthday boy that you made an effort and spent time to please him.

In addition, if the birthday is celebrated not in a restaurant, but at home (although foreigners are invited home infrequently), the gift is presented not only to the birthday boy,but also to the owners of the house or the whole family as a whole. ³ Cake, fruit, sweets, alcohol - all these are universal gifts for this communicative situation. However, it should be borne in mind that in China they will not necessarily make it to the festive table: the owner can dispose of them at his own discretion. If there are elderly people or children in the family, it is also advisable to highlight them: Chinese etiquette condemns the guest's lack of a gift for them in this situation.⁴

The set of possible gifts seems to be wide: paintings,

books, perfume, cosmetics, jewelry, clothing, tableware, cameras, tape recorders, cell phones, etc. However, as many people know from experience, it is often not easy for a Russian guest to choose the "right gift" that will help maintain good relations with the Chinese.

First: as you know, the best gift is the one that the recipient likes. Therefore, the choice should take into account their tastes, interests, hobbies, and preferences.

Secondly, the gift should be of high quality, not too cheap, and since it is a situation of cross-cultural communication, it is desirable that it is perceived by the Chinese as unusual, "typically Russian". But in the conditions of rapid development of foreign economic relations between our countries, it becomes more and more difficult to purchase such a gift every year: matryoshka dolls, samovars, Russian vodka, works by V. I. Lenin, A. S. Pushkin, N. V. Gogol, A. P. Chekhov, M. Gorky are also sold in abundance in China. However, our domestic products such as sausage, pickles, chocolate, original decorative items, perfumes, photo albums, woolen Pavlovo-Posadsky and downy Uryupinsky shawls, Novgorod tableware, fur products (hats, vests), audio and video recordings, etc. remain unusual for the Chinese (and may well like them). Elderly people can show interest in photos of V. I. Lenin, poems, songs about him, etc.

Third, when choosing a gift, it is important to correctly navigate the age and social status of the recipient. Chinese people show respect for a person's age, and in all communication situations they are accustomed to treat their elders with respect. And this feature of their communicative behavior should always be taken into account by Russians: "If you treat an elder without due respect," warns the American researcher Mary Murray Bosrock, "this will seriously worsen the impression of you, and relations with Asian colleagues may immediately be interrupted." ⁵

The question of the age of the Chinese birthday boy is by no means idle. Men can, of course, be asked this question directly, since it is not taboo in Chinese society. Chinese women, unlike our compatriots, also usually perceive it calmly, and respond to it with a sense of self-esteem. Nevertheless, young girls should be asked it correctly, with a certain degree of caution: in the last 10 years, under the influence of Western fashion, they have become more likely to refuse to answer it, since today among young people the question of a woman's age has begun to be perceived as unethical in the Middle Kingdom.⁶

It is also important to know that in China, such dates in a person's life as 18, 30, 50, 60, 70, 80, 90 And the birthdays of older people who have already experienced a lot qualify as more solemn events than the birthdays of young people. Therefore, from the point of view of Chinese etiquette, a gift to the elderly and senior in social status should be more significant: the older a person is in age or position, the more expensive the gift should be given to him.

Fourth, you need to take into account the nature of the relationship between the Russian guest and the recipient: the "wrong" gift can turn into an insult and destroy the relationship forever. In particular, it should not be too personal, intimate in nature. According to some students who took part in our survey, a robe, for example, is regarded in China as an "indecent thing" that should not be given to distant people.

Another sensitive point, which the German researcher Hanne Chen writes: "With great distrust, expensive gifts are considered, for example, when the giver does not know at all what they are being made for. Then they immediately feel a certain intention and get upset. While in the West it is believed that "giving is more pleasant than taking", since the gesture of the giver already brings joy, among the Chinese it is believed that giving is more pleasant than taking, primarily because the recipient of something from this moment is in debt to the giver. Gifts, especially valuable gifts, are understood... as advances that oblige you to take retaliatory actions. " ⁷

This is because Chinese traditions prescribe that-

however, to preserve the relationship, it is mandatory to give return gifts. They respond to a gift with an equivalent gift, and to a courtesy with a courtesy ⁸. As our survey showed, the Chinese often do not tear off the price tags on presents, wanting to show that the gift is equivalent in value to the received one, and in order to receive a gift of the same value next time.

A more expensive or cheaper gift can lead to the "loss of face" of a Chinese friend and, as a result, the loss of relationships with him.

Two such cases are described by Hanne Chen. For example, a certain Mr. Lu, who was studying in Germany, decided to leave the city and change universities just because his friend decided to give him a Mercedes: "Can you imagine," he said, "what I should do if this new Mercedes is important? Now, no matter what he asks of me, I just can't say no anymore." A similar story happened with a Chinese girl, to whom an American woman gave a pearl necklace out of kindness: the latter "never saw the girl again. In such cases, Europeans are always upset, because they can not understand at all what they did wrong. " ⁹

Fifth, when choosing a gift, it should be borne in mind that the Chinese, unlike the Russians, have their own set of taboo gifts: you can not give products with the image of a turtle, owl or snake, since the turtle is a symbol of cuckold, owl-death, and snake-treachery ¹⁰.

A Chinese man can be insulted by giving him a green hat (this is a hint that he is a cuckold). And elderly people should not be presented with clocks, bells and bells that symbolize an invitation to death: the expression "give a watch" is equivalent to the concept of "measure out the time", i.e. bring ¹¹ to death, and the phrase "give a bell" is perceived as "apply for the funeral of older relatives".

LUXURY GIFT

Flowers are not a traditional gift in the Middle Kingdom, and only in recent years they have begun to be perceived as a sign of special location and love for family and friends. In general, as our survey showed, modern Chinese people give flowers less often than Russians, and consider them a luxury gift, probably because in China they have been deified since ancient times and were perceived as alive and loved (like people).

Flowers in the Middle Kingdom have long been considered a sacred value. Their contemplation, from the point of view of adherents of Taoism, helped a person to overcome his limitations, feel a certain mood, cultivate noble feelings and even comprehend the highest meaning of being. "Plum blossoms," we read in Zhang Chao, "inspire lofty thoughts, orchids plunge you into deep reverie, chrysanthemums bring you back to the life of nature, the lotus encourages you to abandon sensual pleasures..., the peony awakens dormant forces..., begonia flowers give playfulness..." ¹² Therefore, the ancient Chinese communicated with flowers selflessly, completely on them by focusing: poets in China conversed with flowers, trusting them with their thoughts as close, understanding friends, and they could treat their favorite flower as a beloved woman. It is interesting that one of the emperors of the Thai era (VII-X centuries) even invited musicians to his garden in the spring, so that they would delight the ears of the flowers with their playing ¹³.

In the Middle Kingdom, flowers are also considered symbols of moral, spiritual, ethical and aesthetic concepts of human life: "orchid symbolizes grace and modesty..., magnolia-female beauty..., peach-longevity and happy marriage, persimmon-joy of life" ¹⁴.

At the same time, as our survey showed, modern Chinese people do not always attach importance to the color of the bouquet they are going to give (probably because they rarely give flowers), and they interpret color symbols somewhat differently, especially white and yellow: "Yellow color emphasizes greatness and power, wealth... blue represents peace and tranquility, so traditionally all the dishes of a rich Chinese house are blue, red is the color of joy and happiness, loved by the Chinese not for the communist symbolism, but for the Confucian meaning of the traditional ethics of optimism, white is the color of sorrow, black is the color of fear and horror. " ¹⁵

The Chinese are very fond of red and yellow colors: they are used for festive decoration of premises, used for making holiday packages. For example, on the occasion of the national holiday of the People's Republic of China, the main square of the country - Tiananmen-is decorated with flower arrangements dominated by red and yellow colors. Red flowers (as a symbol of happiness, passion and love) are also given to lovers, yellow-to teachers, friends and girlfriends.

This detail is also important: flowers, like other gifts, are presented by the Chinese in a single copy or only in an even number, they perceive even numbers as happy and associate them with the concepts of family happiness and a pleasant marriage. Chinese linguist Tan Lin explains in his book that " two " is a pair, and a pair is always considered a symbol of happiness by the Chinese: "A couple is the Sun and Moon, a couple is Heaven and Earth... if the lotus flowers bloom in pairs on the same stalk, it symbolizes true love. " ¹⁶ So in China, you can give two flowers, two vases, two toys, two bottles of wine, etc.

It is also good to present 6 or 8 objects (including flowers) in the Middle Kingdom: "In Chinese, the number "six" symbolizes well - being and good luck, "eight" - wealth. Therefore, the Chinese tend, in one way or another, to link their activities... with these numbers. They will be very happy if they manage to book a room 6 or 8 at the hotel. & -

A phone that starts with the number 8"¹⁷ is also considered dead.

However, the number 4 (also even) is interpreted negatively by the Chinese: it is associated with death, since in Chinese it is homonymous to the word "death" ¹⁸. Therefore, the number of items in a gift should never be equal to four.

HOW DO I PRESENT A GIFT?

The selected gift must be wrapped in paper (preferably in red). You can also attach a small postcard to it, but do not sign it with red ink.: this causes negative associations of the Chinese with the Cultural Revolution ¹⁹.

You need to give a gift to the birthday boy alone, preferably with two hands. You should be prepared for the fact that representatives of the older generation out of politeness may first refuse it ²⁰. We need to offer the gift again.

It is not customary to unpack a gift when visiting the Chinese, but this does not mean that they did not like it. It is left aside and considered in more detail only after the guests have left. Firstly, they do not want to incite envy among other guests and, secondly, they avoid showing their relationship with the guest to the audience, since a gift can tell a lot. This tradition also protects the giver from unpleasant comparisons in terms of price or quality of the gift in favor of other people present.²¹

It is interesting that the presentation of a gift, from the point of view of Chinese etiquette, can be carried out in silence (only by looking into the eyes of the interlocutor)²², but it is preferable, of course, to accompany it with kind words and wishes. Guests usually loudly chant "Happy Birthday!" to the birthday boy, sing "Happy Birthday" in Chinese (or English) and wish him great happiness (like the East China Sea), a long life (like Mount Taishan), good health, love, good luck, good studies, work, and well-being in the family Moreover, emphasizing the age of older people is welcome, since the number of years they have lived is evidence of good health. A compliment about the appearance of the birthday boy will also be favorably received, because everyone wants to live long and look attractive.

There is also another, purely Chinese, greeting option: if you can't pass a gift from hand to hand, or you decide to surprise the birthday boy, leave the present in his apartment unnoticed, accompanied by a postcard ²³. The Chinese often resort to this method of greeting, considering it interesting and original.

Please also note that the birthday of your Chinese colleague (friend) next year may be celebrated on a completely different date and month compared to those that you know. This is explained by the fact that the Chinese, although they record their birth dates according to the European calendar (introduced in the country in 1911), mostly prefer to celebrate the name day according to the Chinese calendar. It was invented in the Middle Kingdom in the middle of the second millennium BC. e. and is still used in everyday life, as it is considered sacred and more accurate compared to the European ²⁴. This is why a Chinese person, unlike a Russian, can celebrate a birthday at different times: compared to the previous year, the date of the holiday can be shifted by two to three weeks.

* * *

Concluding our article, we emphasize that China is a successfully developing state that actively contacts with Russia and Western countries. Therefore, in some specific communicative situations, traditions may be more pronounced, while in others they may be partially leveled by the influence of Western culture. Nevertheless, Russian people need to take them into account when communicating with representatives of the Middle Kingdom in order to better understand their interlocutors and avoid communication failures in communicating with them.

¹ Calendar customs and rituals of the peoples of East Asia. New Year / ed. by R. Sh. Dzharylgasinov, M. V. Kryukov. M., Nauka, 1985, p. 56-57; Flower K. China. M., AST: Astrel, 2007, p. 86.

^{Maksimov A.} 2 Biznes i "kitayskie ceremonii" [Business and "Chinese ceremonies"]. 1991, N 10, p. 35.

^{Bosrok M. M.} 3 Asia: a guide to customs and etiquette. Moscow, AST: Astrel, 2007, p. 231.

^{Xiaolin soup.} 4 Etiquette of communication in Chinese and Russian cultures // Language, culture, mentality: problems of studying in a foreign audience: materials of the V International Scientific and practical conference. SPb., RSPU, 2006, p. 238.

^{Bosrok M. M.} 5 Decree. soch., p. 72.

^{Become a Ji-yin.} Rusistika i sovremennost': lingvokul'turologiya i mezhkul'turnaya kommunikatsiya: materialy IV Mezhdunarodnoi nauchno-prakticheskoi konferentsii [Russian Studies and Modernity: Linguoculturology and Intercultural Communication: Materials of the IV International Scientific and Practical Conference].

^{Chen Hanna.} 7 These amazing Chinese people. Moscow, AST: Astrel, 2006, p. 121.

^{Bosrok MM.} 8 Decree. soch., p. 91.

^{Chen Hanna.} 9 Decree. soch., pp. 121-122.

^{Tan Lin.} 10 Course of linguocultural studies. Changchun, Jilin University, 1996, p. 234.

^{Flower K.} 11 Decree. Op. c, 69.

¹² Cit. by: Malyavin V. V. Twilight of the Tao. Culture of China on the threshold of a New time. Moscow, Design. Information. Cartography: AST: Astrel, 2003, p. 317.

^{Mashnenkova L. P.} 13 Confucian-Taoist type of culture / / Introduction to cultural studies / ed. by E. V. Popov. Moscow, VLADOS, 1996, p. 148.

^{Malyavin V. V.} 14 Kitayskaya tsivilizatsiya [Chinese Civilization]. Information. Cartography: AST: Astrel, 2003, p. 336.

^{Malevich N. A.} 15 Attention, China. Minsk: Harvest, Moscow: AST, 2001, p. 35.

^{Tan Lin.} 16 Decree. soch., p. 323.

¹⁷ Ibid., pp. 327-328.

^{Bosrok M. M.} 18 Decree. op., p. 230; Tan Lin. Decree, op. cit., p. 327.

^{Bosrok M. M.} 19 Decree. op., pp. 96, 230.

²⁰ Ibid., pp. 94, 230.

^{Chen Hanna.} 21 Decree. soch., p. 122.

^{Li Xueyan.} Russian speech etiquette and the concept of "gratitude" from the position of native Chinese speakers / / Russian language abroad, 2006, N 1, p. 66.

^{Sternin I. A.} O nekotorykh osobennostei kitayskogo verbalnogo kommunikativnogo povedeniya na fonte russkogo [On some features of Chinese verbal communicative behavior on the background of Russian]. Voronezh, Voronezh State University, 2001, p. 20.

²⁴ Calendar customs.., pp. 16-17; Malyavin V. V. Chinese civilization.., pp. 319-324.

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